May all parents be treated gently, and may every old man be safe and healthy.
A few days ago, I saw a video on the Internet, which made people feel worried.
in the video, a 90-year-old grandmother, bent over her waist, is struggling to take care of her child.
in order to prevent the baby from running around, she tied the baby with a rope at one end and held it firmly in her hand.
but the child is the active age, but because of the restraint of the rope, he can't run around, so he sits on the ground and cries loudly.
but there is nothing the old man can do about it. She is 90 years old, her back is stooped, and her legs are weak. She is obviously the age to be taken care of, but she shoulders the heavy responsibility of taking care of the children.
I feel sad when I think about it.
under the video, many netizens have left messages:
you have to take care of a child at the age of 90, but the old man is pitiful.
Grandma has become the one who needs to be taken care of, and she didn't expect to take care of the children.
this is the case with many old people. After taking care of their sons and grandchildren, they work hard all their lives.
Yes, the first half of life to adopt children, the second half of life to have grandchildren, or even great-grandchildren, is a true portrayal of how many old people.
I have heard a saying: "there are no good years, but there are always people who carry heavy loads for us."
and the parents are the ones who carry the heavy load for us silently.
they, at the expense of their time and energy, take care of our children;
they have paid their own painstaking efforts and sweat to raise our children.
just because we have to be busy with work, to work hard, to make a living.
therefore, at the age when they are supposed to be old age, they give up their retirement and join the army of "intergenerational parenting".
We always talk about intergenerational parents, but in fact, there is no such thing as intergenerational parents in this world.
it's just that parents love us and love our children by the way.
in the hearts of parents, what they love most is always us and their children.
what about us?
sometimes, not only do not understand this strong love, but also ignore the sadness behind this love.
behind the elderly and children,
has more sadness than we can imagine
flush milk and make breakfast at 7:00;
send my grandson to kindergarten at 7:45;
make breakfast for the little girl at 8:20;
cook at 18:30;
pick up at 21:30;
sleep at 22:00.
this is a day for an old man with children under the camera of CCTV.
four years ago, in order to help Beijing drifters's daughter relieve pressure, Niu's father and mother came to Beijing from their hometown in Hebei and lived the life of Beijing drifters in their twilight years.
in such a big city, they are separated from their original life circle, have no bosom friends, have no familiar fellow-townsmen, and have only daughters and their children.
the lives of Niu's parents all revolve around them.
get up early to cook, wake the child up, take the child to and from school, and then put the child to sleep.
"No social interaction, no rest all year round, six to ten in the morning, busier in holidays."
such days are simple and boring, monotonous and lonely, while Niu's parents stay for 4 years.
just because there are people they love most.
I can't bear to see my children work hard, so I have to wronge myself, use my old age's toil to ensure the stability of my children, and exchange my inner loneliness for the comfort of my children.
and they have a common name, called the old man who moves with him.
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according to the data released by the National Health Commission:
the number of elderly migrants in China has reached nearly 18 million, accounting for 7.2% of the country's 247 million floating population, of which 43% come specially to take care of the younger generation.
they do not want to leave their homes and places they are familiar with, but because of the needs of their children, they have to pack their bags and go far away.
behind taking care of children day after day is the loneliness of language barrier, the sadness far away from the native land, the overdraft of physical strength, the depletion of spirit, and the solitude of heart.
"children and grandchildren who cannot be left behind, homes that cannot be returned" has become a true portrayal of them.
some people say that nothing in the world is more selfless than the love of parents.
Yes, parents' love for their children is deep and great, selfless and touching.
they swallow grievances, swallow sorrows, hide loneliness, and fulfill our tomorrow.
but what do parents get in return for such sacrifices?
it is possible that it is the peace of mind of the children, the baseless accusation of bringing the child, and the efforts given are not understood.
current situation of elderly people taking care of children:
while suffering grievances, complain next to each other
"Mom, how can I sleep when you make so much noise?"
"Mom, why do you do this every time?"
"Mom, why are you giving your child medicine casually?"
these suffocating conversations appear in a 7-minute short film.
the old man in the short film comes to the city to take care of the children for his busy daughter.
but her help did not get her daughter's gratitude. On the contrary, because of her different living habits and parenting concepts, she left endless accusations and complaints.
she gets up early to cook liver porridge for her daughter, but her daughter complains that she woke herself up.
she is afraid that she will miss the school bus and help her children get dressed.The daughter disliked her so that the child could not learn independently;
when her child had a fever, she was given some cold medicine, and her daughter accused her after work of letting the child take medicine indiscriminately.
when did the current situation of old people helping to take care of their children become like this?
while working hard and suffering grievances, they are also blamed and complained by their children.
it is said that parents are the most tolerant creatures in the world.
but there is so much patience and giving that your children may not be able to see it. On the contrary, because of your temporary negligence and carelessness, all the good things of the past have been erased.
I can't help thinking of a piece of news I saw before:
he panicked, shouted the loudest voice of his life, and ran back and forth in the park, calling the child's name.
there is a "anxiety disorder with grandson" in psychology, which is mainly manifested as:
as long as the child is out of sight, the elderly will be inexplicably flustered, worried about the child's condition and unable to explain to their children.
but they shouldn't have endured this.
because it is not the duty of the elderly to help with the children, but because they love you, they are willing to help you.
as children, what we have to do is not to enjoy the help of our parents, let alone criticize their parenting style.
but be grateful from the bottom of your heart, for their service and for their love for us.
you know, it is the duty of the elderly to help with the children, not the duty.
the fact that parents can help is already an extra gift for their children.
and your accusations and complaints will not only break the hearts of your parents, but also push the relationship further and further away.
the elderly do not help families with children,
what happened in the end?
have seen such a story, a blogger cried on the Internet:
"the fifteenth day my mother went back to her hometown, the fifteenth day she entered hell mode."
he and his wife are both office workers. They are busy at work and have a daughter at home who is in kindergarten.
his mother has come from her hometown in Hubei to help him with her baby for more than three years.
he also mentioned that without his mother's help, he and his wife really couldn't stand it.
however, 15 days ago, his wife quarreled with his mother, and her mother angrily went back to her hometown and stopped taking care of their children.
the cause of things is simple:
during the Singles' Day holiday, his wife bought more than 30 parcels, and her mother opened them after picking up the express delivery.
this caused the dissatisfaction of his wife, coupled with the fact that the two usually had some conflicts in the concept of parenting, and they quarreled uncontrollably.
what happened later was that my mother went back to her hometown all night. No matter how much he apologized, she refused to come back.
without the help of the old man to take care of the children, his family became a mess and could not carry out his work and life normally.
I have to say that in the matter of taking care of children, many children not only enjoy their parents' efforts, but also criticize and criticize them too much.
it was only when the parents got cold and stopped helping with the children that they finally realized how important the parents' help was.
once there was a random survey on the street, asking "should the elderly help with the children"?
as a result, more than half of the elderly said they were unwilling to take care of their children.
because taking care of children will affect their lives, affect their social interaction, affect their mood, and even their body and mind.
for the sake of others, who has worked hard for most of his life, who doesn't want to be more comfortable in his old age?
however, helping to take care of the children means that they don't have their own little days, they don't have their own entertainment and entertainment, but they devote all their energies to the children.
behind this sacrifice, it is only because you are their child, and they love you deeply.
I like a sentence very much: "when I grow up, I know that it is not only the house but also my parents who can protect myself from the wind and rain."
whenever and wherever, our parents are behind us, silently supporting us, giving us strength and protecting our integrity.
and we, as children, can do this:
help the elderly adapt to the new environment
usually you can take your parents to visit the surrounding parks, vegetable markets, supermarkets, hospitals, etc., or you can go shopping and walk with them to feel the fireworks of life.
respect the rearing style of the elderly
there is always something to learn from their parenting experience, and we should respect it instead of forcibly changing it. Try to change your mentality and be more tolerant and receptive to your parents.
pay attention to the health of the elderly
take them for physical examination regularly, take time to chat with them, understand the inner thoughts and uneasiness of the elderly, and communicate and dispel their negative emotions in time.
recognize the contribution of the elderly
with the help of the elderly to take care of the children, our life can be more comfortable, so we should recognize the value of the elderly and appreciate their contribution.
see such a sentence on the Internet: "Don't be too greedy, love is mutual, not blindly take."
parents' love for us is to do their best and do their best.
and as children, we should also learn to give back the love of our parents and be more considerate of them.It is not easy, care about their bodies, cherish the time with them.
the tenderness of the world, bit by bit of beauty, but also remember to leave a copy for your parents.
, may all parents be treated gently, and may every old man be safe and healthy.
Sister Carrie refused to give up love and freedom all her life.