The most comfortable relationship between people is just three words.
Leave room for everything, magnanimity can tolerate people.
Life is fleeting, fleeting, all of a sudden. In the journey of life, you will have different feelings when you meet different people. "Zhuangzi Mountain Tree" said: "the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and the friendship between people with humble personality is as sweet as wine." Interacting with people of noble character is like drinking boiled water, which is insipid but comforting. Getting along with people with despicable character is like drinking sweet wine, sweet but painful. When people reach middle age and experience ups and downs in everything, they just understand that the most comfortable relationship between people is actually just three words: "do not cross the line". To stop doing something is to be a man of self-cultivation. "Laozi 44 chapter" said: "contentment is not humiliating, knowledge is not perilous." If you know how to be content, you will not be humiliated; if you know that enough is enough, you will not lead to disaster. I saw a story: The businessman and the county magistrate are friends, and they are on good terms with each other on weekdays. One year, there was not enough money for the local construction of the canal. When the businessman heard about it, he gave his family's money to support it. If you don't have enough to eat, you bring the food at home for everyone to eat. When my father heard this, he immediately ordered his servant to smash the cooking pot. Say to your son: "everyone has their own responsibility, and if you go too far, it will damage the friendship between you and your friends." This is what the county magistrate should do, but if the businessman does not stop immediately, it will damage others, destroy each other's relations, and eventually bring disaster to himself. Good said: "people do not do, and then they can have something to do." One can only make a difference if one knows what one cannot do, respect others, and keep a good balance. At the beginning of the road, everything has a spirit, each has its own duty, and each has its own destiny. To let nature take its course is to be in awe of heaven and earth; to stop doing something is to be considerate to others. Therefore, the higher the realm, the more restrained people will be in their actions. this is not only the law of life, but also the self-cultivation engraved in the bones. Words have a boundary, is the wisdom of dealing with the world Chapter 56 of the Book of morality says: "those who know do not speak, and those who speak do not know." Smart people know that there are some things to say and some things to say. And stupid people, whether they can say it or not, say it. Language is a double-edged sword, a word can make a person, a word can also destroy a person. There was a landlord who had a son in his family, so he gave a feast to entertain the guests. Two beggars also came to beg for a meal. Seeing the child, the first beggar said, "he will die in the future." The landlord was so angry that he was dragged out, beat him, and finally starved to death. The second beggar said to the landlord, "if you love each other, you will be rich and rich in the future." The landlord was very happy to hear this, so he invited him to the table for dinner and stayed at home. Even if it is true, it cannot be said on some occasions. speaking with boundaries is not only the wisdom of dealing with people, but also the kindness of comparing one's heart to heart. If a person has others in his heart and knows how to think of others, he will consider the feelings of others and will not be outspoken. The Book of changes says, "A gentleman carries things with virtue." As the saying goes: words are born from the heart, a person's rude words, the heart must be complicated, virtue is not enough, natural misfortune is imminent. If you have a certain degree of speech, your heart must be clear and moral, and you are bound to have good luck again and again. There is a limit to everything, it is the realm of treating others. Chapter 64 of the moral Sutra says: "if prudence is the beginning, there is no failure." If you can always be careful, do not go too far, do not cross the line, then you will not fail. A person does things in moderation, knows the way of balance, is in line with human feelings, and is in line with the law. Only in order to really do great things, can we really have great wisdom. Zeng Guofan was such a man. In his early years, when he was an official in the court, he did not know how to be flexible and went straight ahead, resulting in being sent home for mourning. During his stay at home, he began to study Zhuangzi. He understood the principle of combining strength and softness, and later became an official again. As soon as he changed his temperament, when officials came to give gifts, he chose the less expensive ones to accept. When there is a reward in the war, he gives it to his subordinates and does not seize the merit. Over time, it has been recognized by everyone. Zeng Guofan said: "leave room for everything, magnanimity can accommodate people." Leaving leeway in everything is a kind of wisdom in dealing with people and things. Things will turn around at the extreme, and good fortune and misfortune depend on each other. Once anything reaches the extreme, it will develop in the opposite direction. Really smart people, understand that dealing with others, dealing with the world, there must be a limit, there is a degree. Only in this way can we get along comfortably, relaxed and happy. Chapter 58 of the moral Sutra says: "the sage is square but not cut, cheap but not arrogant, straight but not wanton, and bright but not shining." It means: wise people, upright but not rigid, angular but not hurtful, frank and sincere but not capricious, with their own light but do not like to show off. They know how to behave and do things properly, with bounds in words, stops in actions and limits in everything. It is refreshing to get along with such a person. Words and deeds are the mirror of the soul, and those who know how to measure are in awe. If you are in awe and conform to nature, you will be helped by the way of heaven. Every man has his own responsibility and deeds, which is the awe of heaven and earth; he has his own heart, his words have boundaries, and he is in awe of all sentient beings; every man has his deficiency, and he is in awe of himself. For the rest of our lives, may we be in awe, be people who "don't cross the line", and encounter a comfortable relationship.
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