We are all passers-by in each other's lives, and we are lucky to be able to travel together.
says in "second Flowers": "when you put aside your prejudices and camouflage, no longer anxiety and needs, your heart is really open."
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in life, we always fight for right and wrong with our own prejudice; we feel confused about the temporary loss and want to ask for a result; it's hard to get out of it because we can't get it.
but the more you do, the less happy you are; the more persistent you are, the more regrets you have.
not as good as, calm down the state of mind, see light leaves and flowers blooming, not paranoid, not competitive.
always contend for right or wrong
A few days ago, my cousin and I made an appointment to visit my uncle who lives alone.
seeing this, my cousin was a little angry: "I told you a hundred times not to mess around at home. You promised on the surface, but in fact you can do whatever you want."
although he was in the mood, he thought that he hadn't been here for a long time, so my cousin began to clean up his father. As soon as he entered the kitchen, he saw the leftovers from the previous days on the table. He was about to get sour and reluctant to throw them away.
he finally couldn't help shouting to his uncle, "how many times have I told you not to pick up waste products? you are not short of money. Why not stay at home?" If you can't finish the leftovers, you'll throw them out. If you eat something bad, it's not just you. Why can't you remember it? "
my uncle looked up at him with stubborn but aggrieved eyes: "I just want to save more money. It's not easy to know you. I don't want you to worry too much." Don't be angry. Sit down for a while and I'll go for a walk. "
when he heard his father's words, my cousin froze and said nothing more. He just quietly cleaned the house and put the bottles and cartons neatly.
in life, we are always like this. We are used to fighting with our parents for right or wrong. We often put "this is not right" and "how can we never change" on our lips, complaining that they are too stubborn and disobedient.
but in retrospect, for the sake of these trifles, there is a gap between right and wrong, what is it worth?
everyone has their own experience, accumulated habits and consideration of the present, so they don't have to focus on whether something is right or not, and hurt their feelings for something that is not important.
always want to ask questions
have seen such a story:
the husband went on a business trip for half a year and called home to say that he would be back in the evening. The wife worked all afternoon and prepared a whole table of his favorite dishes.
with that, he turned away without a bite of his meal.
the wife chased downstairs and cried out in tears, "how can you give up this family?" I can change anything I haven't done well. "
I saw my husband's car passing by, leaving only a "I'm sorry".
that night, she sent numerous messages asking him: why did you leave her? How do you have the heart to make your son a child without a father? Can I come back again?
the next day, she braved the heavy rain to go to her husband's company and waited for five hours, only to get her husband's perfunctory reply: "if we can't talk together, let's split up."
he changed his attitude because he thought he had made a mistake, but later he realized that he had decided to turn us back into dispensable passers-by, and there was no point in entangling us any more.
in reality, there are many people who do not see through this truth and always ask hysterically, but in the end, the answer he has been waiting for is just an excuse that he has already prepared.
there is no need to get to the bottom of the matter, because to let go of obsession is to give this relationship the final dignity.
Rao Xueman said: "Don't bother to ask him if he cares about you. If he really cares, he will be more afraid of missing it than you."
people in this life, there are happy unexpected encounters, there will also be increasingly indifferent separation.
there is no need to be clear about everything and check it out clearly. sometimes, evasion and indifference have already given the answer.
Don't be obsessed with why there is no later, live well now, is the best explanation to yourself.
is always stuck in not getting
when I was in college, roommate Xiao Qiao told us about the experience of Xiao Yuanyuan:
because she was not admitted to Peking University, Yuanyuan chose to go back to school to repeat her studies in the first year of our freshman year. Another 365 days of suffering, but because of the difference of 7 points, once again brush with the ideal school.
Yuanyuan was not reconciled to it and decided to fight for another year. This time, the parents are very careful, every day with the examination guide over and over again.
unexpectedly, on the day of submission, Yuanyuan directly grabbed to fill out the form and deleted all the information from other schools: "I have been taking the exam for three years, and I am not going anywhere except Peking University. No one of you can stop me."
and this desperate bet became a reality that she could not accept. The distance of one point also destroyed Yuanyuan's final self-esteem and confidence.
three years later, when her classmates were busy with internships and postgraduate entrance exams, she was still in her twenties, panicking and tangling.
could have had a foreseeable futureThe future, but now because of the heart of this "can not let go", so that there is no way out.
writer Richard Teppler said:
most of the time, we need to accept the reality, the reality that doesn't seem so good, the things we've experienced that can't be changed, and the scars that are indelible in our hearts.
on the way of growing up, it is important to work hard for your ideals, but you are so paranoid that you are always stuck in things that are "unattainable" and "out of reach". In the end, you still have more to lose.
We always want to prove "I can", but the result is: the more confused we are, the more sad we are; the more we cling to it, the more regrettable it is.
and this regret comes from the choice of every step of life, which seems simple, but it takes the rest of my life to make up for it.
I have seen such a sentence: "We should especially know how to let go. Obsession is not a healthy belief."
Max Hermann said: "be gentle with yourself. You are just a child of the universe, just like plants and stars."
in the sea of life, we are all passers-by in each other's lives, and we are lucky to travel together.
share with you.