The best family style: big things to discuss, small things to forgive, do not fight for right or wrong, do not turn over old debts
A home should be the starting point of everything, the direction of return, and our eternal safe haven.
Goethe said this: "whether he is a king or a farmer, he is the happiest man as long as his family is in harmony." The same is true. If a person's family is scattered, no matter how high his status is, no matter how much money he earns, he can hardly feel happy. And if the family style is harmonious, even if just enough to meet the food and clothing, will also feel happy. The best style of a family is to discuss big things, forgive small things, don't argue about right or wrong, and don't turn over old debts. Discuss major issues and do not make your own decisions. There is an old folk saying: one person advocates, it is better for two people to discuss. A really good family relationship is never arbitrary on one side, but on the basis of discussion and discussion when something happens. A very successful entrepreneur was invited to a sharing meeting. At the meeting, many people thought that he would share business common sense. Unexpectedly, he spoke astonishingly, saying something that no one thought of. He repeatedly stressed: "when a man is out there, he must learn one sentence: I want to discuss it with my wife." Why? Because, nowadays, when many people do things, the most common mistake is that "before the soldiers move, food comes first." The money is running out before the business starts. I inspected here today and had dinner there tomorrow. When I saw anything, I wanted to invest and have a look. I ran down in circles, spent a lot of money on travel and meals, and failed to accomplish a single thing. And if everything can be discussed with his wife, it is equivalent to more discerning eyes, more smart brain, more firewall, more umbrella, can avoid a lot of unnecessary trouble. No one is an isolated island, the meaning of family existence is to warm each other. Smart people, in case of trouble, especially in case of major events, are bound to discuss with their families more. This not only allows you to think more comprehensively. More importantly, behind everything discussion, it represents trust and respect. When a family, family members discuss and respect each other, the cohesion and sense of belonging of the family will be stronger. A home will be better and better. Forgiveness for trifles is the armor for maintaining tenderness. Someone on the Internet asked: what is the secret of a happy family? One of the most popular answers is: don't blame anything. Zhihu, netizens @ Dingdang Shared a story about her. One afternoon, when the weather was dreadfully overcast, Ding Dang received a phone call from her husband, reminding her to close the doors and windows. Ding Dang said yes with high spirits. But because I was in a hurry to go out, I turned around and forgot about it. Shortly after she went out, there was a lot of wind and rain in the sky. Rain Water went through the window and drenched the sofa and her husband's computer on the sofa. When they got home, they were dumbfounded to see the living room in a mess. If this happens, I believe many people will blame each other. But Dingdang's husband looked at his regretful wife, and instead of blaming, he whispered comfort: "it doesn't matter. It just so happens that my computer is old. I'll change it again." Just a simple sentence, I believe that no matter what frustrations the couple encounter in the future, they will be able to get through it hand in hand. Those unhappy families often blame and blame each other in their daily life. The wife scolded her husband. Why didn't you earn some money when you worked so long every day? The husband blames his wife. Why can't he take care of a child well? why does he catch a cold again? Parents blame their children. Why can't they do such simple homework? . Which family does not have some ups and downs? If you always haggle over things and blame each other, it will only make the war worse. Tolerate trifles that don't matter; forgive details that don't hurt elegance. After all, there are only a few winds and waves in life, and the warmth that melts in firewood, rice, oil and salt is the most moving. If you don't fight for right or wrong, if you win a quarrel, you will lose your feelings. I especially like the story of Pingru and Meitang. The love between two people, nothing falls apart and vows to fall in love, but it makes everyone who has read their story realize what is the real warm feeling. Life is always trivial, and two people are not without minor contradictions. Once, when Pingru Meitang quarreled, Pingru lost his temper and threw a hot kettle on the ground. Meitang was frightened and cried instantly. Meitang's tears suddenly pulled Pingru out of her anger. He quickly stopped quarrelling, took Meitang by the hand, apologized and admitted that he was wrong. Meitang saw that he bowed his head and relaxed his mood. He asked him, "Why did you give way to me when I knew I was wrong?" Pingru said: "because I am afraid of winning a quarrel, losing my feelings, losing you, I will lose my life." A quarrel was resolved in this way. There are many trifles in our daily life. "do you want the toothpaste to be squeezed from the middle or from the tail? Is it better to be frugal in daily expenses or to pursue quality of life? After a quarrel, who should admit his mistake first? " In life, there may be differences all the time. If everything is right or wrong, it will not only hurt feelings, but also make everyone in the family physically and mentally exhausted. There is a good saying: "Home is not a reasonable place, win the truth and lose the feelings." Know how to make concessions at the right time, don't always think about winning or losing, when everyone in the family, learn to bow, life will be more and more beautiful. If you don't dig up the past, the wound that is always opened will never heal. When two people quarrel, one of the scariest things is to dig up the past. No matter how much we care for and love each other, once we start to dig up the past, all the unhappiness and grievances of the past will pour out again. One layer on top of each other, so that the original little things become big things. In the movie reunion, there is such a plot. The family went back to his wife's parents' house. When the child was shouting, he accidentally called "Grandpa and Grandpa" as "Grandma and Grandpa". When the husband heard this, he was furious at the child and said harshly to his wife: "Grandpa is grandpa, grandpa is grandpa, and I'm not interrupting the door!" The wife also blushed with anger: "who said you were plugging in the door?" The husband replied, "that's what your family has thought since we got married!" Once the old debts are turned over, the earth will be turned upside down. The husband began to complain that his wife's family made it difficult for him. When he was young, his family was poor, but he was asked to raise 500000 yuan to buy a house before marriage. The wife also began to criticize, saying that she should beHow to get married at the beginning, how insulted and contemptuous the husband is now. For a moment, the baby was crying and the chickens and dogs in the family jumped. "steady Wanderers" says: "in fact, the trick for two people to be together for a long time is not to dig up the past. What can I do if I turn it over? It's just that one is more sad and the other is more annoyed. " That's true. Going through the past is like opening a wound ready to heal and then sprinkling salt on it. Everything in the past, who does not have some mistakes, always turn over the old debts will make a feud sooner or later. The way for a parent to be stable for a long time is to resolve conflicts on the spot, and then return one yard to another, neatly and neatly. There is a good saying: "Home is not a battlefield, there is no need to wave the flag and shout, no matter who wins or loses; home is not a chessboard, there is no need to be careful and be on guard everywhere." A home should be the starting point of everything, the direction of return, and our eternal safe haven. Everyone in the family, big things to discuss, small things please forgive me. Don't fight for right or wrong, don't make up for the past. In this way, a family will be more gentle and affectionate, and get better and better.
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