Don't ripen too fast, don't get too close, don't love too much.
sowing, watering, loosening and pruning are indispensable every step.
the same is true of getting acquainted with people.
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people need to go through the precipitation of time from strangers to acquaintances.
it is easier to talk and laugh for a time, but difficult to accompany all one's life.
Life is too long, meeting the wrong person is more terrible than being alone.
Don't treat "temporary" as "forever", and don't get to know anyone too quickly.
Don't be too full, don't get familiar too fast
have you ever met such a friend?
the two chatted as soon as they met, and soon became inseparable.
however, it wasn't long before the relationship became thinner and indifferent, as if it had never existed.
those good memories are as illusory as the moon in the mirror.
when her friend Su Su first arrived in the new company, her colleague Sister Wang was very warm to her and often took her to dinner with her.
occasionally, Sister Wang makes cakes and gives them to Su Su to taste.
back and forth, Su Su was grateful and regarded Sister Wang as a good friend.
it wasn't long before Su Su found that the two were getting to know each other too quickly and became a burden.
Sister Wang always finds various excuses and asks Su Su to help her with her work, sometimes collecting data and sometimes on duty for her.
Su Su "eats people and has a soft mouth". She is embarrassed to refuse, but she has some grievances in her heart.
later, Su Su gradually discovered that Sister Wang was familiar with everyone, and that people did not regard themselves as friends, but as soft persimmons.
after realizing the truth, Su Su is no longer close to Sister Wang.
there is a process in everything. The faster a relationship gets ripe, the faster it cools.
A long flow of water can only be achieved step by step, and the desire for quick success and quick profit will only be counterproductive.
those who approach you at the speed of light will also leave you at the speed of light.
those feelings that boil from the beginning, the other party either wants something from you, or has ulterior motives.
if you naively believe them and get too close to them, you may end up getting hurt.
as writer Lauren Oliver said:
how easy it is to misread a person completely, seeing only a small part of them is misunderstood as all of them, and I tremble at the thought of it.
everyone we meet is just a snapshot, which can only record a moment of this person, not all of him.
only by getting to know each other slowly can we find out if we are in tune with each other.
the trial jade has to be burned for three days, but only for seven years.
the rest of my life is long, so don't worry.
take your time, but it's faster.
No matter how good the relationship is, keep it modest
A relationship takes a long time from meeting, getting to know each other and getting to know each other.
however, getting to know each other doesn't mean everything is all right.
No matter how good a relationship is, you should not lose your sense of propriety, otherwise it is easy to deplete your feelings.
there was a young man. We used to talk about everything, but now we are strangers.
at first, she sent me a message every three or five: vote for me, like the first trouble in moments, please forward this article.
later, when I started writing, she often asked me if I could write for her, and she was going to contribute to the company magazine.
No matter how good the relationship is, it is not worth asking for it justifiably.
similar trifles add up and become the trigger for the breakup of this friendship.
many people think that good friends should be indistinguishable from each other, not polite, and the more casual the better.
do not realize that the better the relationship, the more compassionate it is.
Life is like a ruler, it needs to be measured.
communicate in a measured way, so that you don't get tired of each other.
A good relationship is neither far nor near, neither lukewarm nor slow.
leaving it blank properly is the basis of being a friend.
it is the principle of life to treat others with courtesy and not to cross the line.
as Liang Shiqiu said:
make friends with friends, respect them for a long time, that is, keep your distance, that is, avoid excessive intimacy. Friendship cannot be overdrawn and must be kept for some time.
just like hedgehogs, they must keep a certain distance in order to live in harmony. If you get too close, you will only hurt each other.
everyone is an individual and has his own secret garden.
enough is enough, and don't treat yourself as an outsider.
familiarity is not out of line, there is intimacy, keep a balance, and the relationship can last long.
shallow talk is the biggest stupidity
I saw a question on the Internet: "what is the biggest social disaster?"
someone replied, "talk deeply and expose yourself completely to the eyes of others."
the riskiest thing in the world is to have a heart to heart with people you don't know.
even the other person's character is not clear, so he reveals the truth wishfully, and the probability of being betrayed is very high.
my friend Wen Wen suffered a great loss and lost the opportunity for promotion.
when the company competed for employment, Wen Wen stayed up late to sort out the project materials and made a detailed job report.
A colleague took the opportunity of having a meal to ask her for advice. Wen Wen unreservedly told each other what he thought.
unexpectedly, this colleague stepped on the spot to sign up for employment, and the content of the display was almost the same as that of the report.
Wen Wen is so regretful that he will neverNo matter how impulsive you have heart-to-heart contact, you don't show your cards casually.
as the saying goes, "you can say three things to everyone, and don't throw away your heart when something happens."
three points, in other words, is self-protection.
it is a big taboo in life to talk deeply at any time.
Cai Kangyong once shared such a story. Once, he met a female friend.
Cai Kangyong took the initiative to say hello, "is your husband all right?"
he did not know this female friend very well and did not know that he was divorcing his husband at that time.
the female friend felt that Cai Kangyong was spying or teasing herself, so she took the initiative to alienate him.
Cai Kangyong realized with hindsight:
"A good friend must have a deep conversation to make it interesting. But there is no hurry. Let's wait until we have enough friends and then talk about it in depth. "
in this regard, Cai Kangyong gives two suggestions:
first, when chatting with people you don't know, don't mention their financial, emotional, or even physical status.
second, we should skillfully avoid topics that are likely to lead to disputes. For example, each other's idols, religious beliefs and so on.
in the world of adults, true feelings are impossible to find;
do as much love as you have.
it is true wisdom to know people's hearts and human nature and learn to shut up at the right time.
Don't get to know anyone too quickly
the faster you ripen, the faster you disperse;
those who are slow and warm are more precious in love.
sometimes, slow fever is tested cautiously because of fear of being failed.
getting to know each other too quickly is like haste makes waste.
if you are excited to get married, you are likely to meet someone wrong;
if you have no boundaries and no defenses, you are likely to be deceived.
if you talk to each other with just a few words, you are likely to be betrayed.
as the writer Italo Calvino wrote:
I have no confidence in anything that is readily available, fast, instinctive, impromptu, or ambiguous. I believe in the power of being slow, peaceful, steady and calm.
May we all have the patience to take care of a relationship slowly for the rest of our lives, not too fast, not too close, not too full of love.