The depth of the water is silent, and a man is silent.
Zhu Ziqing said in his prose: "speaking is not an easy task."
some people don't talk much, but it makes people happy as soon as they open their mouths; some people even speak eloquently, but they get bored when they open their mouths.
speaking is a real art and a compulsory course for adults.
people who can talk have long understood that people get along best with each other:
listening is self-cultivation, cautious speech is self-cultivation, and silence is self-cultivation.
listening is self-cultivation
I have heard a saying: "the silence of listening is more touching than a thousand words."
listening is not only a silent expression, but also heart to heart, representing acceptance and understanding.
it can narrow the distance between people, more powerful than eloquence, it is also respect, self-cultivation, but also a person's timeless charm.
although the famous actor Ge You is famous, he is low-key and humble. the most comfortable thing is that you always have a "sense of superiority" when talking to him.
in the social arena, when people drink and chat together, there are always a few people who like to talk.
at this time, there are always people who mercilessly interrupt: "you show off, who doesn't know!"
in this way, the speaker will feel very embarrassed when he or she loses interest.
Ge You never does this. Some people say that he will listen patiently and respond from time to time: "I really don't know. I need to hear you talk about it."
is he really so shallow?
of course not. Most of the time, after listening to the beginning, he can guess the follow-up, but he never rashly interrupts other people's conversation, but saves face for each other.
the famous host Liang Hongda once talked about Ge You in the program: "if you had contact with him, you would like him 100%."
A person who can speak can win an audience, but only by listening well can he win friends.
the philosopher Voltaire also said: "the ear is the way to the heart."
if you know how to listen, you will reach the highest state of communication: heart-to-heart communication.
on the other hand, those who interrupt others at will will only make people bored and drift away from their friends.
A good listener, patient and respectful, is more likely to win the favor of others.
because people are mutual, you are willing to listen to me, I am willing to listen to you.
speaking carefully is breeding
there is a saying in Zengguang Xianwen:
"leave half a sentence on the edge of your mouth, give way to the end of the matter; be full of worldly sophistication, speak less, see through human feelings, but nod."
when adults get along with each other, the most taboo thing is to be outspoken.
No matter how deep your friendship is, you have to talk on different occasions, know how to advance and retreat, and don't let people down.
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speak carefully, leave three points on your lips, even a few words can make each other feel like a spring breeze, is the best upbringing for a person.
actor Xu Zheng once said on the show that he also had bright black hair.
Xu Zheng could not accept that he began to lose his hair and even go bald before the age of 20.
to this end, he sought medical advice everywhere, including various folk remedies, and usually did not go out without a hat.
once, students came to watch when they applied hair lotion in the dormitory. Xu Zheng was so embarrassed that he accidentally knocked over the bottle.
at this time, one of the students immediately mocked: "will the table grow hair?"
another classmate said, "just look at his head." everyone roared with laughter.
times have changed, and those people may have forgotten the "jokes" that once blurted out, but Xu Zheng has been inferior for many years.
the speaker may be unintentional, how can the listener unintentionally, try to be quick for a moment, it will only hurt people without knowing it.
Zhu Xi, a Neo-Confucianist, said, "be careful what you say in order to cultivate his virtue."
only when we speak cautiously, do not discuss people's wrongs, do not expose people's shortcomings, and do not talk about people's faults, can we cultivate morality and character.
therefore, before you open your mouth to speak, you must think twice and think carefully before you say it.
the most comfortable relationship between adults is that they often think about their own mistakes, don't talk about others, speak with a ruler, and speak with virtue.
Silence is self-cultivation
Huang Tingjian wrote in his poem: "it is better to be silent than to say everything."
it takes us two years to learn to speak, but a lifetime to learn to shut up and understand that silence is a person's greatest self-cultivation.
because sometimes eloquence is no more thorough and appropriate than silence.
timely silence is not only a self-cultivation, but also a rare wisdom of life.
one year, after the list of winners of Lu Xun's Literature Prize was announced to the public, there was a great controversy.
at that time, a reporter specially approached Jiang Fangzhou in the hope that she could express her views on the works of one of the winners.
after hearing such an appeal on the phone, Jiang Fangzhou said that he had not read each other's works and could not publish comments, so he refused.
after listening patiently, Jiang Fangzhou remained silent, but replied, "with only one poem, I really don't know what to say."
in the end, Jiang Fangzhou chose to remain silent.
as the saying goes, "the depth of the water is silent, the man is silent."
people who are really mature and cultured have always been as silent as gold.
they never talk like others, but take others to heart.Understand the appropriateness and weight of words, and use people's morality for a lifetime.
shut up at the right time and keep silent is not only a silent language, but also our life-long practice.
from now on, may you and I both understand the wisdom of "silence", keep quiet in our hearts, and reach the highest state of life.
writer Wang Meng said: "whether a person has a level or not is mainly manifested in speaking."
when getting along with others, it is better to speak than to listen, to speak more carefully than to speak carefully, and to speak more than to be silent.
being good at listening and not judging will win people's hearts.
think carefully, do not gossip, naturally stay away from misfortune;
be silent at the right time, don't boast, and get along naturally and comfortably.
, in the future, one more self-cultivation to listen, one self-cultivation to speak carefully, one self-cultivation to be silent.