Find a reason for everything from yourself.

"Zuo Zhuan" said: "people who have no mistakes, mistakes and can change, the most good." What is your first reaction when you make a mistake? Do you want to pass the buck to others, or do you often think about your own mistakes and find the reasons from yourself first? You know, when you point at others, there are three fingers pointed at yourself. The most taboo thing about being a man is to always find fault with others and forget your own responsibility. On the contrary, there is a kind of advanced self-cultivation, which is to reflect on oneself from time to time and not to blame when something goes wrong. The more incompetent people are, the more picky they are. Shen Juyi, a scholar in the Qing Dynasty, said: "the greatest foolishness of life is to hear one's own mistakes, and the worst evil of life is to talk about the faults of others." It is foolish of such a person to refuse to listen to his own faults but always find fault with others. On the road of life, everyone carries two baggage, one pretending to be his own fault, the other pretending to be the fault of others. But many people often put other people's faults on their chest, and they can see them as soon as they bow their heads, carrying their own mistakes behind them and easily ignoring them. I once read a short philosophical story. On one occasion, three mice agreed to steal oil to eat, and they planned to take turns to drink in a stacked posture. However, as soon as the top mouse climbed up, the oil bottle was accidentally knocked over. They were frightened and ran away in panic. After returning to the rat nest, the three mice began to shirk their responsibilities. The top mouse said, "because the mouse in the middle moved, I knocked down the oil bottle." The mouse in the middle said, "it was the bottom mouse that suddenly trembled and affected me." The mouse at the bottom said, "I think I heard a cat barking outside, so it alarmed me." If our first reaction is to criticize the faults of others and shirk our own responsibilities when we encounter problems, this is a typical "mouse mentality". There is a saying in the Analects of Confucius: "the villain has no fault, but the gentleman is often wrong." It means that the villain always thinks that it is someone else's fault, while the gentleman often reflects on his own fault. The more incompetent people, the more picky others, the habit of looking for reasons from the outside to cover up their own mistakes. A little more examination of oneself and more understanding of others is not only a self-cultivation rooted in the heart, but also a rare wisdom and pattern. It is a very high realm for a person to ask inward in case of trouble. Mr. Lu Xun said: "I do dissect others all the time, but I dissect myself more mercilessly." The more excellent people are, the better they are at dissecting themselves, and they are more likely to find reasons from themselves. They know that only by inward attribution can they grow outward and surpass themselves in the past. I believe we have all done an experiment like this: Project a beam of light on the wall of the room, then put your hand in front of the light source, and the shadow of your palm will appear on the wall. If you want to change the shape and size of the shadow, can you operate it directly on the wall? Obviously not, you can only change your gestures. As the Koran says, "if the mountain does not come, I will go there." People who ask inward and look for reasons from themselves mean that they are thinking about changing themselves rather than blaming others. At that time, Wang Yangming first founded Xin Xue, which was attacked by many people as heresy. His disciples complained indignantly, "they don't understand the teacher's theory, so they make comments at will." Wang Yangming said, "We haven't done enough!" After that, Wang Yangming began to vigorously promote the interpretation of mind, and more and more scholars advocated it and gradually competed with orthodox Neo-Confucianism. There is a good saying: "blame others to ask yourself first, forgive yourself first." Instead of complaining to others, it is better to seek inward and find reasons from themselves in order to broaden the pattern and get out of the predicament of life, and become more and more powerful in a reflection. Not to blame when something happens is a person's highest self-cultivation. The British writer Maugham has a famous saying: "to make a person show his nature, holding him responsible is the most effective way." When you encounter something, examine yourself and find the reason from yourself first is the first step. What is more rare is to have the courage to admit your mistakes and take the initiative to take responsibility, which is the highest self-cultivation of a person. I once read a story. One day, a mother took her son, who had just been in kindergarten, to buy fruit. When his mother was choosing fruit, his son felt very bored, so he secretly picked the peach in front of him with his hand. When he got home, he shared this "interesting story" with his mother. After hearing this, the mother took her son by the hand and went back to the fruit stall without saying a word. If I really saw a lot of peaches that were scratched, after explaining the reasons and apologizing to the boss of the fruit stall, I bought all these peaches. The son was very confused, and the mother explained: "if we break other people's things, we have to be responsible for our own actions. Buy them home. We can't waste them yet. We have to eat them all." In the next few days, there were peaches at every meal on the table, and the son ate miserably. The mother's lack of education is wrong, the son is wrong to damage other people's things at will, and everyone has to pay for his own mistakes. From beginning to end, instead of blaming her son or shirking her responsibility, the mother used her own actions to teach her son what responsibility and responsibility is. As the old saying goes, "things do not seek refuge, righteousness does not evade responsibility." Really strong people are not afraid of things, are good at self-reflection, seek solutions to problems, and take the initiative to take responsibility. People who are responsible are upright, sit upright, have no lack of backbone, and have a lot of ambition. Responsible people stand upright, go far, have confidence in their hearts and have righteousness in mind. Not to blame when something happens is to be responsible to yourself, to others and to society, which is a person's highest self-cultivation. ▽ "Little window seclusion" said: "if you do not take responsibility, there will be no career in the world." A person who has no responsibility and will only pass the buck is doomed to go for a long time. If you want to make a difference in this life, you must understand the truth of what to do and what not to do. Blame others less, examine yourself more, dare to take responsibility, be sober, act magnanimously, and live up to your conscience. Share with you.

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