"daughter, never go to the man's house to wash the dishes." Mother's words attracted countless people to like her.
Hard-working is praised, too hard-working is bullied.
come on Vikanwei Daughter: First of all, my mother is very happy that you can find someone you like and have the idea of spending the rest of your life with him. How time flies, my mother is getting old day by day, maybe one day I have to go first, so I always hope that you can find someone who is really nice to you and take good care of you. Last month, you brought the young man home for dinner. His parents have no problem with him. The young man is very sincere and polite to us, and we can see that he really likes you and wants to talk to you about marriage. You are going to be a guest at his house the day after tomorrow, and you nervously ask your mother a lot of questions: Mom, what should I pay attention to when I go to the man's house for the first time? Do I have to be diligent? Did you rush to wash the dishes the first time you went to your father's house? Looking at your excited and nervous look, to tell you the truth, daughter, the mother suddenly felt more sad than happy. Daughter, you finally found someone who likes each other, and your mother is very happy for you. But the thought of loving the baby for so many years began to unconsciously rein in his temper and character, just to let another family like, mother's heart is a little bad taste. Did you ask your mother if she rushed to your father's house to wash the dishes? The answer is: yes. I remember that at that time, your grandmother, like many mothers in the world, painstakingly told me to be sensible, winked and grab a job on my first visit. Like most girls eager to be affirmed, I rushed to help cook and wash dishes at your father's house for the first time. After that day, many of your father's relatives and elders praised "Xiao Yun is so virtuous" when they saw me. When I was young, my mother was happy with this compliment, but for many years, until your father became a shopkeeper in housework, my mother found that it had unwittingly become a yoke. You asked your mother, "do you want to rush to do the dishes"? today, my mother doesn't want to give you an affirmative answer. Because it is right to be courteous and courteous to the elders, but it is really not right to wash the dishes. What mom wants to say is: Daughter, when I go to the man's house for the first time, I really don't have to care too much and please each other too much. People who like you won't deny you just because you can't cook or wash dishes, while people you don't like are useless no matter how diligent you are. Not only do you wash dishes, but you can bravely refuse anything you don't like to do. "daughter, you don't have to meet anyone's expectations." Daughter, let me tell you a story first: There used to be a pair of brothers in the village. the eldest brother was warm-hearted. Anyone in the village who needed help would lend a helping hand. After a long time, everyone was used to it, and he liked to find him for everything. Second, on the contrary, he is gluttonous and lazy, and he should not ask him for help, so people never count on him for anything. Once, when a well was drilled at the entrance of the village, the boss could not come, so he asked the second to come over to help. When the boss came home from work in the evening, he overheard the neighbors sitting in the yard chatting. "the two of them are really good and work hard, and they haven't had a sip of water all afternoon." "you see, the boss is still lazy today. It still depends on the number two at the critical moment. " The boss doesn't understand why he helps every time and fails to come once, and then becomes lazy in the eyes of others. And the second only went there once, and it became the diligence in their eyes? Daughter, this is what I want to tell you. When you start to give others high expectations, they will start to blame you when their expectations fail. And you can't live up to their expectations every time. Because people make progress by an inch, a concession means that you have to give in again and again for the rest of your life. It's okay to wash the dishes once. My mother is worried that you are too diligent in their house for the first time. After getting married, you will be diligent all your life, and you will not be idle every day. In a family, not only one person is diligent, the life is two people to live, and two people have to do housework, so that you can last a long time. If they don't expect much from you at first, you will be much more comfortable in their home in the future. Don't worry that they will think you are not diligent, because when you meet for the first time, you are a guest, and they should entertain you well. It is your upbringing that you are willing to offer to help with the dishes, and it is only natural that you do not do the dishes. "daughter, keep your posture straight, but not low." Daughter, the mother knows that you like him very much and wants to be recognized by his family. But in any case, our attitude can not be too low, no matter how much you love him, you do not have to please his family. Jiang Fangzhou once said: "those who can really appreciate you will always appreciate your pride, not your pretending to be humble and agreeable." In the eyes of your mother, you are beautiful and excellent, worthy of everyone's love. People who like you must be able to see your strengths and appreciate them from the bottom of their hearts. So you don't have to please anyone, including him and his family, the first time we eat, our posture is correct, neither humble nor arrogant, it is enough. You don't have to rush to wash the dishes to please them. When you please them for the first time, they will put up their posture and look down upon you, so that you will have a hard time in your mother-in-law. You are the only daughter in our family, and your mother has spoiled you since she was a child, and you haven't suffered much. You seldom do housework in your own house, so your mother doesn't want you to marry and suffer. If someone tells you that when a woman marries someone else's house, she is going to have children and do housework. Don't believe that. Now it is no longer what it used to be. This kind of thinking has fallen behind a long time ago. You get married because you like each other and want to spend the rest of your life together. So you don't have to lower your posture, you are equal, and you don't need anyone to please each other. Do you remember your last boyfriend? Mother has always disagreed with you to get married, not because he is bad, but because the conditions of our family and theirs are so different. He is the child of a rich family, and we are just an ordinary family. Mother is afraid that you will have no family status after you get married, so you need to please them all the time. This kind of relationship is too tiring. Woman, my mother wants you to remember one sentence forever: Don't please anyone, whether they like you.There is no need for people who still hate you. You just need to be yourself. "daughter, families that don't get along with each other, don't force it." This is your first visit to his house. When you meet his parents, remember to be polite and not to be too casual. Whether you can get married or not, we can't lose our upbringing. You can offer to help with the dishes appropriately, but if they really let you do the dishes, you have to figure out whether such a mother-in-law can get along well in the future. You didn't marry him to be a babysitter. If his family thinks like this and starts to let you do housework before you pass the door, then their values may be very different from ours. It is said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, but in fact it is the relationship between three people. If they let you wash the dishes and your boyfriend doesn't stop it, your mother will persuade you to get married. When you meet a mama's boy, you must suffer after you get married. Such a man should be cautious. Love is a temporary thing, but marriage is a lifetime event. All happiness and pain are traceable, and the small problems encountered now will become big contradictions over a long period of time. Don't blame your mother for nagging. Your mother is experienced. The reason why your aunt divorced is because your uncle's family is so unreasonable. Your aunt dragged her children to grow up, had to go to work, and waited on them after work. They were not only ungrateful, but also gossiped about your aunt outside. Your uncle always made her endure, and they didn't know how many quarrels they had had. Your aunt often called me before the divorce. I saw that she was so distressed that I was worried that you would make the same mistake again. Daughter, if his family makes you uncomfortable in the first place, don't force it. Mother never urges you to get married. I'd rather you get married later than be unhappy when you get married. For your parents, your happiness is the most important, so you must keep your eyes open before you get married. Finally, I hope it is pleasant for you to visit their house this time, and your mother also hopes that you will meet a reliable man and family, so that your parents can worry less in the future. But no matter what grievances you have suffered outside, your home will always be your harbor. If you have anything, you can tell us that we love you forever. !
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