Marriage is optional, but not required.
come on I D: Duhaoshu Dear daughter, Last night, dad got your text message. You said you were divorced. And you said, I'm sorry, because the divorce humiliated me. Silly boy, you have not been sorry to me, nor have you humiliated our family. My father was very distressed because he always thought my baby daughter was very happy. Unexpectedly, my daughter also learned to report the good news and not the bad news. Dad is also very guilty, guilty that he did not help my daughter close well, and did not pay close attention to your marital status. The daughter who made me spoil and grow up has seen all the ugliness in the world in just a few years and tasted the bitterness that she has not experienced in the past two decades. Dad couldn't sleep all night, so he got up in the middle of the night and wrote this letter to you. What is marriage? Mr. Qian Zhongshu once wrote in besieged Fortress: "Marriage is a besieged city. People outside the city want to come in, and people in the city want to go out." Love, fertility, life, responsibility, the relationship between two people, the union of two families. "Marriage" this thing, no matter how to look is a grand topic, contains too many meanings. But dad has been married for more than 30 years, the biggest feeling is-- The most essential meaning of the existence of marriage should be: when two people are together, they must be better off than when they are alone. If your partner does not have the ability to protect you from the wind and rain, but he is the wind and rain, then why get married? Young people always think that love is everything, as long as they fall in love, nothing is a problem. However, there is always a cooling time for affection, and a fading day for favorites. No matter how strong the love is, you still have to go back to these little things. When you really start to face these problems, the problems are exposed. The true value of marriage is sometimes not reflected in the major issues of right and wrong, but in the small details. When the weather cools down, someone can remind you to put on more clothes. When you come home from overtime at night, you can see a lamp waiting for you in the living room. When you have something to spit out and want to tell, there is someone who listens to you. In the highlights and shadows of life, there are people who accompany you, help you, rejoice for your happiness, and grieve for your sadness. If there is none of these, the two people will not be together for long. In the movie in the mood for Love, Su Lizhen, played by Maggie Cheung, said something like this after learning that her husband was having an affair: "I never thought marriage could be so complicated. I thought I could do it alone. But when two people are together, it is not enough to do well by themselves. " The best state of marriage is not to consume each other, but to be evenly matched; not to fight alone, but to grow together. Mr. Jin Shijie's words in "the leftovers are King" represent the sincerity of parents all over the world: My daughter should want to get married with the person she likes. Hold your head high, very hard, looking forward to, as if you had won. With me, she can only be happy and nothing else. It's the same with dad. To give birth to you, to raise you as an adult, to support your marriage, not to make you taste the bitterness of the world, not to keep you alive, but to let you experience the happiness of your subordinates. Now, you choose to divorce, and as your father, you will stand with you unconditionally. Marriage is for happiness. So is divorce. Today, too many people demonize divorce. In the traditional view, people think that divorce means the failure of marriage, the failure of life and the death of loneliness. In particular, divorced women have to bear more prejudice and discrimination. Indeed, I have to admit that divorce is a great blow and harm to a person. Marriage is not a child's play, divorced, you need to be responsible for the children, need to divide the property, need to face the uncertainty of life. But Dad wants to tell you that if all this, you can take it. Or it is a relief for you to return to the arms of happiness, then your mother and I will support you. A low-quality marriage is not as good as a high-quality single. Do you remember the aunt who came to our house before? Your uncle gambled and cheated when he was young, stealing money from the family to raise women outside. My aunt raised her four children by setting up a snack stand by herself. Later, my uncle had a 4th wife outside and insisted on divorce from her aunt, but her uncle and aunt did not agree to it. The two men were so forced to carry a long-dead marriage. Until the uncle's guest died in a foreign land, the two men did not usher in reconciliation. In fact, with my aunt's ability and ability, there is still a lot of youth to pursue their own new happiness. When she was spending time with her uncle, she also exhausted her youth and life. It's not worth it. Marriage is like a pair of shoes, only you know whether it fits or not. A suitable marriage is good, but a failed marriage is like a pair of inappropriate shoes that make you flesh and blood and make you unable to walk. If you don't give up, you can't move forward. To say this is not to preach the benefits of divorce, but just to tell you-- Marriage, or divorce, are actually just a different way of life, no right or wrong, no praise or criticism. People's life is so short that they just want to be happy. Marriage is for happiness, then divorce is also for happiness, all destinations are in the name of love. Marriage is optional. But it is not required. Some time ago, my father saw a very interesting conversation on the Internet. The daughter asked her mother, "is it okay not to get married?" Mother said: "if there are fireworks outside, the smell of food spills over from the neighbors, and the family travels hand in hand in the street, you can refrain from crying." However, the daughter asked: The smell of the meal overflowed, so who cooked it? Who washes the dishes? Who cleans up the house? Who put the child to bed? Travel hand in hand? Have you bought the school district house? Who helps with the homework? Is the child obedient? I'm out there. Shopping for dinner, ready to go home to play games and read novels with the cake I just bought, I ran into a dishevelled face and a tired face. It is difficult for a young couple whose children are playing outside to keep from laughing. This reversal surprised my father. Times are really different. Dad has a lot of friends around him, and children are not allowed to fall in love when they go to school. As soon as the time came for graduation, he urged to find a partner to marry, as if marriage was like a task. Forced a lot of children, the relationship with their parents is very stiff, or married unhappy, make do. Dad didn't like to see such a scene, so I didn't get much involved in your marriage. Marriage is optional, not necessary; love is necessary, but love is not. For everyone, marriage and love are just a part of life. If you are happy enough at the moment, don't care why others have something you don't have. Of course, I hope you won't be knocked down by this little thing in front of you. I encourage you to still be in awe of love and marriage. Just remember to polish your eyes before you choose your partner next time. The last and most important point. Dad wants to tell you: you are still young, you still have plenty of time, you have to allow yourself to try and make mistakes. Divorce is just a very small hurdle in your life. You have to be as strong as you were when you were a child, fall down, get up, pat the dirt on yourself, then smile and start all over again. I really like what the writer said when he stayed up late: The examination papers of life can be painted and corrected, the painting is really too messy, at most buckle the points of the paper. Not to mention alteration, you can even cheat, make a cheat sheet, peek at the answer of Wang Xiaohua next door, follow the picture of a cat and a tiger, and you can score. There is always enough time, and the bell for the end of the exam will not ring until the last minute of life. Before that, you have plenty of time to learn and change. In fact, life is also the case, some people are plain sailing, some people have experienced suffering, but no matter in what circumstances, people should not lose the courage to love and life. With your parents, you don't have to play a wife, you don't need to play a daughter-in-law, let alone a daughter. We hope that you can live more as yourself. Maximum freedom, self-esteem, self-improvement, self-love. Well, having said so much, it's time for you to dislike your father's nagging again. In short, don't forget that your parents will always be your support, and they always want you to be happy. Where there is me and your mother, it is your home. It's dawn. Dad's coming to pick you up. Always love your dad. Work By: Wu Tong, ten o'clock
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