Changing oneself is a god, changing others is a psychopath.

Life is like drinking water, knowing whether it is warm or cold. We are always used to setting high expectations for our lives and adding too dreamy filters to the world. Therefore, we tend to be busy all our lives, and we only get bitter and tired, without any sense of happiness at all. People are like this. Once you have expectations for others in your heart, you will bear the burden of your heart and make your life very hard. But the real world is very cruel, never put all your expectations on others, because others have no obligation to realize your expectations. Instead of being trapped by expectations that cannot be forced, it is better to change yourself and live at home. All the troubles are the high expectations of others. All the unhappiness in the world is caused by your own inability to see through. The most terrible kidnapping in the world is not "real", but "moral" and "love and expectation" to ask others. There is a very apt sentence to describe this phenomenon: "all excessive expectations of others are like a knife, double-edged, no one can escape." When troubles come, you might as well find problems from yourself, learn to untie the mind, and the troubles will disappear. I saw this summary on the Internet before: Parents will be angry with their children if their test scores are not satisfactory. Parents will be unhappy if they don't buy the toys their children want. The performance of the staff under the leadership is mediocre, and the leader is very angry. Employees are equally unhappy when they think that hard work has not been recognized by the relevant salary. On the bus, the old man thought that he was old and should be taken care of, while the young people who had worked hard all day chose to ignore it. In fact, this is the disappointment caused by the expectation that the expected value does not meet their own expectations, and causes contradictions constantly. But when you calm down and think about it, is it really worth getting angry like this? The answer is, of course, no. As the writer Ma de once wrote: "I gradually understand why I am not happy, because I always expect a result. Read a book and expect it to make me deep, run for a while and expect it to make me lose weight, send a Wechat message expecting it to be replied, and look forward to being treated well for others. If these preset expectations are realized, I often breathe a sigh of relief, and if they are not realized, I will feel sorry for myself. " What really brings you pain is not that person, but your expectation of that person, it is that expectation that brings you pain. When you let go of these so-called expectations and learn to rely on yourself, there will naturally be less complaints in your heart. The only thing we can change is ourselves As soon as I put it down, I feel at ease. Most of the time, the dilemma of things is just because we have made a difference of our own. At this time, all you need is to change. Of course, it is always difficult to change others, and it is impossible to change the world. The only thing you can change is yourself. Change your mind and attitude. When you start to change yourself, a lot of things change with it. I have seen such a story: There is a master who has lived in the mountains for a long time and has been practicing the "Dafa of moving mountains" for decades, and has finally achieved positive results. When someone heard of it, they came to pay homage to the teacher and piously asked the master for advice: "Master, what kind of magical power did you use to move the mountain away? how can I practice this magic skill?" The master replied with a smile: "it's very easy to practice this magical skill. All you have to do is master a little, that is, if the mountain doesn't come over, I'll go there." Every cloud has a silver lining. There is a saying on the Internet: "there has never been a miracle in the world, and fate has always been in your own hands. If you want to change your destiny, the most important thing is to change yourself. " Failure is doomed when you try to change something other than you. Because the changes in this world are human changes, and the changes of others can only be affected by their own changes. So, when you can't change others, the most effective way is to change yourself. If you don't change yourself, you will never be happy. It is painful to change others, but to change yourself is the beginning of happiness. Does happiness really need conditions? The answer given by teacher Zhang Defen is: "Happiness really does not depend on external conditions, but on the hearts of the people." To put it bluntly, you should be responsible for your own happiness, and don't shift the responsibility for making yourself happy to the people around you. If you are always comparing and jealous, all you can get is "ask for it but not get it". I once saw a fan's contribution in a Weibo message of an emotional blogger. "I like to decorate the living room with flowers. He obviously passes by the florist after work every day, but he doesn't buy a bouquet easily. I'm already tired of cooking. Why can't he ask himself to wash the dishes after dinner? I thought he would make careful preparations for my birthday, but it turned out to be an ordinary meal. Every time we quarreled over these trifles, and every time he didn't do what I wanted, I wondered if I had chosen the wrong person. " The blogger's reply was also straightforward: "in fact, you should think that your husband also cares a lot about you. Maybe he immediately sent you medicine when you were sick, or maybe he also knew how to cheer you up when you were aggrieved at work. No one can be so considerate and perfect in everything. If you expect too much, you will only be disappointed. If you always expect your husband to be perfect in everything, always stare at his shortcomings and ignore his efforts, it will only hurt your feelings in the end. " What you don't like about others is your own problem, without exception. A very important sign of immaturity is to ask others according to their own standards, while maturity requires, allow and respect differences. If the two leaves on a tree are not the same, why should we require that everything in the world must develop according to your standards? Therefore, use your happiness to give birth to a good state of mind, a good state of mind, naturally everything is pleasing to the eye. From now on, may you have the courage to accept everything and the determination to change yourself. And share it with more friends around you

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