Sometimes you have to have it in your life, but don't force it all the time.
come on Read a book at ten o'clock Buddha said: "unlucky people, even if met, but also have to be separated, close at hand, but also the ends of the earth." I think so, all the chances in the world have a reason, it should be yours, you can't hide; if it's not yours, it's in vain. Between people, the origin of the fate, the edge of the deep edge of shallow, there is a fixed number of reasons. It is better to let nature take its course than to persevere in vain and demand in vain. Those who love but do not have to be persistent Writer Susan Foward once said: "it is obsession that brings a period of concern to the tragic outcome." It is true that, very often, what really leads to our misfortune is our wishful thinking. In the TV series "running into the East", Xiuer is a person who is obsessed with love and makes a miserable tragedy for half his life. Because of an accident, Xiuer fell in love with Zhu Chuanwu, who rescued her from the wolf. Falling flowers deliberately ruthless, Chuanwu unintentional to her, and directly rejected her goodwill. Xiuer, who had been repeatedly rejected, began to curry favor with the mother who passed the martial arts. The two families come from the same family, and they are of the same age, so their elders are naturally happy to see it succeed. Chuanwu, who had no effect on hunger strike, finally accepted the arrangement of marriage under the binding of his father. On her wedding day, Xiuer was filled with joy, but she did not realize that happiness could not be exchanged for happiness only with the efforts of one party. Xiuer, who was married, was snubbed by her husband. In order to avoid her almost rooted in the barracks, Zhu Chuanwu had to sleep with a pillow covered with her husband's clothes every day. She spent most of her life in an empty house for 18 years, not only failed to get her husband to stop, but erased her gentle temperament. In fact, what really led to Xiuer's misfortune was not Zhu Chuanwu's ruthlessness, but Xiuer's stubbornness to this relationship. She believes in sincerity and stone, but she often forgets that the more persevering she is in the face of a person who doesn't love her, the more she will break her head. I have heard a saying: "falling in love with someone who doesn't love you is like holding a cactus. The tighter you hold it, the more painful it will be." Yes, the love of the world, the pain is missing, the pain is persistent. Forced twist is not sweet, blindly persistent, will only ruin their own good time in vain. Not all efforts will have results, those who can not get, do not wait; cover a lukewarm heart, do not be bitter. For the rest of your life, may you learn to let go, let go of obsession, let others go, and fulfill yourself! There is no need to force people with different frequencies. Writer Richard Yates wrote in Eleven kinds of Solitude: "I think the so-called loneliness is the person you face, whose emotions are not at the same frequency as your own emotions." Yes, two people with different frequencies, like two radios not on the same channel, can't go to the same place, even if they have deep feelings, they can't escape the fate of estrangement. Director Jia Zhangke once talked about the story of going from intimacy to strangeness with his cousin. When I was a child, Jia Zhangke always liked to run to her second aunt's house every winter and summer vacation. He and his cousin are of the same age and temperament, and have a particularly close relationship. Later, the two men took a different path: Jia Zhangke was admitted to university and became a director, while his cousin dropped out of school to become a miner. He is busy filming all day long to realize his dream, while his cousin runs around all day to make a living. Later, the two saw each other during the holidays and looked at each other but didn't know what to say. In fact, I am not at all surprised by the estrangement between the two. One is a famous director, living in a bustling city, talking about art every day. One is the ordinary miner, who is filled with work all day long, and the topic can only focus on money, rice and salt. Like birds and fish, one soars in the sky, the other swims at the bottom of the sea, across a distance between heaven and earth, insurmountable. In the end, we can only watch each other move from familiarity to alienation, watching each other withdraw from their lives bit by bit, but there is nothing we can do about it. Is it not the same when you are around us? Once so good that two people are inseparable, once they enter different circles, it is difficult to say that alienating strangers is the end. There is a particularly poignant line in "hometown of Mountains and Rivers": "everyone can only accompany you for a while, and sooner or later they have to be separated." In a word, it has become a true portrayal of countless interpersonal relationships. People get along with others, if the circle is different, then do not be forced to blend. After all, the forced fate, for each other, is only a torture. If you are not a person along the way, don't force it any more; if you feel tired, just let go. May you learn to calmly face those who go away because of different frequencies, cherish those around you who understand you, and live a swaying life! People with different values don't have to make do. There is a question on Zhihu that goes like this: "what kind of experience is it to live with people with different values?" Netizen @ more than ten years The answer is: "going home every day is a depressing feeling, like walking into the desert, lifeless, torturing your will and spirit, so that you don't even have the will to speak, just be silent and bow your head forward." The poet Yu Xiuhua has also been tortured in this kind of marriage. At the age of 19, Yu Xiuhua married Yin Shiping, 12 years his senior, under the arrangement of her parents. At first, Yu Xiuhua was looking forward to the marriage and devoted herself enthusiastically. Soon, from her husband's various behaviors, she found that she did not agree with each other and was not the same person. In Yu Xiuhua's eyes, feelings are an irreplaceable treasure, but her husband did not hesitate to ask her to lie in front of her boss's car as a threat for a salary of 800 yuan. Yu Xiuhua advocates equality between men and women, but her husband wantonly preaches that "a woman is a pig." She is full of talent and tries to write poems to comfort her crippled body. In the eyes of the husband, it became an unofficial job. Yu Xiuhua believes that the spiritual pursuit should be greater than food and clothing, while Yin Shiping's view is just the opposite. Because the three values contradict each other, let this couple live like strangers. Even after the divorce, her husband always thought that Yu Xiuhua was as prosperous as his shoes. But in Yu Xiuhua's view, she is just trying to get rid of an unhappy marriage and give herself a freedom. It can be seen that two people with different values will lose even if they meet.Even if we are together, it will not last long. As the saying goes, "the three values are inconsistent and cannot be compatible." Yes, when two people with different values are together, they often have different views on things. You think that if you improve your education, you can suffer less, but the other person thinks that you are working for others anyway. You think it's necessary to invest in yourself, but the other person thinks it's a waste of time and energy. Over time, the gap caused by the differences in the three values will form a heart wall, which will increase the number of contradictions and exhaust the feelings. Only two people with the same values can understand the mountains and rivers in each other's hearts and walk with each other! On the way of life, shoes should fit and people should be in tune. Instead of making do with people who are contrary to the three values, it is better to live in harmony with yourself in the crowd who understand you. All fate is predestined. As the saying goes, "if you drink and peck, you must be determined before." Indeed, all fate is fate; all things in life have cause and effect. The more persistent the person who loves but cannot, the more hurt he is. People with different frequencies, the more forced they are, the more painful they are. For people with different values, the more they make do, the more aggrieved they will be. Sometimes you have to have it in your life, but don't force it all the time. Interact with people, may you cherish fate when you are predestined, follow fate when you are not predestined, long life, everything!
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