After my husband was taken care of, our marriage became more harmonious until the neighbors made comments.

01 My marriage, living a life, has become a male-dominated model and a female-dominated model. Of course, it can also be said to be the result of weighing the pros and cons. Three years ago, I was promoted to a senior executive with an annual salary of 300000 +. There is no white-rising salary in this world. After promotion, overtime and business trips become very routine. At that time, the son had just entered primary school and the daughter had just entered kindergarten. Husband grim is a salesman in an office, time is relatively free, housework naturally falls on him. It's a gradual process. At first, Grim was only responsible for picking up the two children from school, but later he had to learn to cook breakfast and dinner, send interest classes, accompany reading, and activities organized by the school. No way, many times arranged in advance by me to take care of the baby, but always something temporary, had to give it to grim. Supposedly, as my income rises, my family should lead a smoother life. But the truth is, chickens and dogs jump. Grim is often temporarily dispatched by me, full of complaints, and a pair of children are estranged because of my repeated dishonesty and disappointment. As for me, when the new official took office, I was under a lot of pressure. When I got home, I had to smile as if I had done something wrong. With a family of four, no one was happy, the child was unhappy, and Grim and I fell into anxiety. 02 And anxiety is the killer of all relationships. It is not that I have not considered hiring a babysitter, but after stocktaking, I found that apart from cooking and cleaning, other things, such as chicken babies, companions, and so on, cannot be done by the babysitter. And these are precisely the most important parts of a home. So Grim and I sat down calmly to analyze the current situation at home. This is also a good habit that we have developed from falling in love to getting married for many years-- once there are differences, resolve them in place. The result of the discussion that day was quite subversive, and we decided to be severe in the future, inside and outside. The reason is very realistic, my income is enough to support my family, and my work pace can not achieve both family and career. Grim, with unstable income and complex personnel relationships, he was at a loss about the future of his career. On balance, it is not as good as me to concentrate on making money. He tilts most of his energy to the family so that the family can run better. To tell you the truth, this decision made us both feel relieved. I no longer have to strike a hard and guilty balance between family and career. Grim is also willing to admit that his career luck is weak and is ready to play the maximum value at home. In the final analysis, families, like companies, also need the rational allocation of capital and manpower. Of course, Jing did not resign, but switched from business to office. The job was simple and his income was halved, but he was much richer in time and energy. In the following days, busyness is still busy, but orderly. I justifiably worked overtime and went on a business trip. As soon as my monthly salary arrived, I transferred it to a grim account: "husband, food and forage has been stored in storage, and I will leave it to you at home. I will continue to work hard outside." As for the grim burden of getting rid of the burden of supporting a family, the daily work actually begins in the evenings and weekends. Pick up the two children after school and prepare dinner. After dinner, I have to take care of my son's homework, copy the newspaper by hand from time to time, communicate with the head teacher about the children's situation at school, and make an appointment with the parents of their son's classmates who have a good time for an outing on weekends. I have to take care of my daughter, read picture books, accompany games, and have all kinds of interest classes on weekends. From time to time, I have to be the judge of a pair of children. When the two children finally fell asleep and faced a messy home, he began to organize the project over and over again. A week has passed, and Grim's heart has been getting cold feet. However, he held back when he saw that I was too tired to take a bath when I came home every day. 03 One weekend, Zheng took his son and daughter on an outing with three classmates and parents. Grim brought tents, barbecue ovens, pickled mutton kebabs and chicken wings, as well as kites and bubble machines for the baby. On that day, he had a barbecue for the children and took them to fly kites. The children had a good time, and the parents also had a good time. But who knows, when they came home from work in the evening, a pair of parents quarreled. The reason is that the parents took their children to clean the scene, and one of the dads did not stretch out his hand all the time and kept playing with his mobile phone. The baby mother felt very humiliated, so she blamed the baby father. As a result, the baby father felt very humiliated, and the two talked to each other, and the more they quarreled, the more fierce they became. The baby mother complained that she had to make money and take care of the housework. When the baby father came home every day, he didn't say anything good about his fingers. "I've really had enough with you." The baby father did not show weakness, citing how tired he was at work. When he finally got home, he was always faced with his wife's zombie face. Finally, the couple's baby couldn't stand it any longer and cried loudly. What was supposed to be a very happy party ended awkwardly. That day, I worked overtime and returned to the community. It was already 10:30 at night. Grim is waiting for me in the underground garage. I was surprised: "are the children asleep so late?" He said, "you didn't get off work until so late." I thought he was going to complain, but he said, "the garage is pretty creepy this night. In the future, no matter how late I come back, I'll pick you up." Mom, this sentence seems to dissolve all the tiredness of my day. Then, Grim asked me if I was hungry and would you like to have a midnight snack? And seduce me with my favorite barbecue. Of course, I couldn't resist this seduction, so we went to the gate of the community for a solitary meal. Jin told me about the quarrel between the two parents during the day. I thought his argument would eventually be based on the parents' ignorance. However, Grim said to me: I understand that they need chicken babies to work, and their mentality is tense. However, parents who are out of control will have children who are out of control. I feel very sad. I think it is not easy for a family of three. Therefore, we have made the right decision. As a family, we should still talk about the division of labor and cooperation. We should not compare who works hard and who is not easy. Instead, we should think about how to mobilize everyone's emotions to the healthiest state. After all, to live a life, don't just try to be comfortable and happy, or work so hard for what. 04 That night, Grim also told me a lot. Speaking of solidarity, he ordered two more bottles of beer. The old husband and wife seem to have a lot to say all of a sudden. Finally, in the early hours of the morning, we walked home hand in hand. I said to Grim, "Honey, how do I feel good?"What about happiness? " Grim said, "well, maybe it's because your husband is a little handsome."... " It should be that after that, Grim became more and more determined to be "kept". He not only happily arranged the life and study of the two children every day, but also got himself a job as a football counselor in his son's school. Every Friday after school, I organize a parent-child football match with four other dads. Grim became their child king. Some parents who pick up their children look around admiringly and say, "look at their father." Some parents even volunteered to bring their children to play. They said the same thing: "our father is too busy, but boys, there are some things, mother really can not accompany." Grim is happy to take the job. And for many parents' curiosity about themselves: "Don't you have to go to work?" He also made no secret: "I work, but very free, our family, mainly rely on my wife." As a matter of fact, it is not the vision of the outside world that is difficult for men on the inside and women on the outside. The difficulty is that the parties, especially the one in the Lord, are so strong that they don't mind those eyes. And what is more important than this is to find value in the Lord. 05 When my son was in the third grade. One day, full of thoughts, he asked me: "Mom, today my classmate asked me that my father spent so much time with me because he couldn't make any money. Mom, does dad make money after all? " Looking at a little confused, a little self-abased son, I think this question needs to be answered seriously and honestly. I thought for a moment and made an account for my son. At the current level of consumption, if you hire a stay-at-home babysitter who is responsible for cooking, washing, cleaning and picking up children every day, you will earn about 5000 a month. But it is impossible for a babysitter to accompany her children to read books, go on outings, hold parent-teacher meetings, play football, let alone talk to them and make friends with them. I asked my son, "however, this part is the most important for a child and family. If you were asked to pay your father, how much would you pay?" The son thought about it carefully and said, "then 8000." Then I made an account for my son. Dad does all the maintenance of water, electricity and property at home, and so on. Including my mother every business trip, no matter how late or early, my father will pick me up. Every day my mother gets off work, as long as it is after eight o'clock, my father will wait for my mother in the underground garage. Moreover, for at least half an hour every day, my mother will tell my father about those happy and unhappy things at work. "the price of an ordinary psychological counselor is 400 yuan an hour, that is to say, mother should pay father 200 yuan every day, at least 6000 yuan a month." Then I told my son that the average wage of the working class in our city was 4200 yuan. "if you make a rough calculation, if you ask the price clearly, you can get 15000 yuan a month with your father's workload, that is to say, your father's monthly salary is not only higher than the average in our city, but also high." 06 When I said this, I squatted down, looked at my son and said: The important thing is, do you think what Dad has done to me, you and my sister, to our family, can be measured by 15000 yuan? Even if mom takes out the 15000 yuan to find someone to replace dad, who do you think can do better than dad? Hearing this, the son's little eyes sparkled: "Wow, the father is so good, I knew it, the father is the best." Yes, Mom, no matter what kind of college you go to and what kind of job you do in the future. But in the end, you will also become someone else's husband. If you can be half as good as your father, your mother will be very happy and proud. When I say this, it is my education to my son that tells him that not everything in the world can be quantified with money. In fact, these words are also an education for myself. Brothers, settle accounts clearly, while husband and wife also need to be grateful to see each other's value. That day, after a pair of children fell asleep, I opened a bottle of red wine and had a drink with Grim. I resumed the conversation with my son during the day with Jing. This guy is even more exaggerated. After listening to my account for my son, he dried up a glass of red wine: "Thank my wife for giving me a promotion and a raise. In the future, I will redouble my efforts to strive for an annual salary of one million yuan." I took the opportunity to express my feelings to him: Honey, do you know? Every time you go on a business trip or come back, you will pick me up, no matter how late, someone is waiting, someone can see the feeling of hard work, so that all the hard work is sweet. Thank you for your sacrifice and fulfillment, thank you for being my emotional trash can with no regrets, thank you for bringing your two children so well, I really feel very happy. The optimistic man gave a fist: "the boss is flattered. I will try my best. Please climb another tall building." The night outside the window is gentle, and happiness is as strong as night. As time goes by, we can still see the love and love of each other. 07 It's another Saturday. I finally have a day off. I can finally wake up naturally. It's quiet at home. I went out of the bedroom and through the door of my children's room, I found that Grim was painting with them. Each person has a drawing board, and their appearance is better than that of the painting. The daughter drew a scorched yellow and said it was the sun. He said in a stern whisper, "Oh, what a big and beautiful sun. Dad's eyes are shaking. Sister, please draw a sunglass for your father." The daughter picked up the black crayon and drew two circles. Severe exaggeration said: "Sister, this pair of glasses is a limited edition, especially suitable for a handsome father, is that right?" The daughter replied in a milky voice, "that's right." The son threw a look of disgust in his eyes: "childish ghost." Grim walked over: "son, what is that on your nose?" Then he pretended to wipe his son's nose and ended up applying red paint to his son's nose. So, three people, crazy together. I didn't disturb them. I want to enjoy the picture like that for a while. The years are quiet and good, because everyone in the family is in a peaceful and comfortable state of mind. Very satisfied, we have a family of four, each has its own place, everyone lives extremely self-consistent. 08 Still, over the years, Grim and I oftenIn the face of outside questions. The most grim question is whether a man will be aggrieved when he is a family cook. The grim answer was simple and rude: "I can't make a lot of money, can't change the world, just change myself, take good care of my wife and children, and regard this as an achievement. I've lived like this in my life." As for me, what I was asked was: "aren't you tired when you support your family by a woman?" My answer was a little more euphemistic: "supporting a family is more than just a way to make money. My husband's efforts and resources are more valuable than mine." Today, when faced with such a question, we usually laugh it off. Some happiness, their own knowledge is good, not self-confident people, will be sweet words to whitewash. Medical research shows that it is not success or wealth that affects people's happiness, but good relationships. I feel more and more that between husband and wife, it is still rude to evaluate each other's value simply by how much money they make. In a family, the value of a man's existence lies not only in how much money he earns, but also in his ability to provide emotional value for his family, to share housework, to take care of children, and to coordinate the relationship between family members. And these soft power, invisible value, can not be bought by money. These are the sources of women's sense of security and happiness. To tell the story of my family, one is to thank Grim for his efforts, and the other is to sincerely feel that whether it is the woman who owns the inside and the outside, or the man who owns the inside and the outside, what is suitable is the best. Only when husband and wife recognize each other and cherish each other can they go further. If you are ignored or discriminated against in the family, you can really recognize the internal injury. So, if you want to see the story, no matter what role it is between husband and wife, transfer it to your partner or a full-time friend. Let those hardships and values be seen and weighed equally; let the pride and prejudice in their bones be expelled and ashamed.

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